A
few weeks back I posted about a case I was working on regarding a student
whose parent was diagnosed with cancer. Unfortunately, her health took a turn
for the worse and this case has now become one dealing with grief.
I
have not had any experience working with students in a time of grief and found
myself getting pretty anxious about the prospects. So, in order to prepare
myself for the worst I purchased a few books off of Amazon to have if the time
came to work through grief, whether this year or beyond. (The books I purchased
will be listed below in a separate Resource section.)
When
I received word about the parent’s passing, my anxiety increased tremendously.
How can I possibly help or make a difference? What if I say or do the wrong
thing? What if not saying/doing anything is the wrong thing? The negative
self-talk continued on and on and on….
Instead
of sitting in that negativity I decided to finally look through the books I had
purchased. After flipping through them and heeding some of the advice I felt a
bit better. The books are meant to be read from the point of view of the
griever. So information about the poor responses people might have, I tried to
combat. I also posted a message on a school psychology listserv I belong to
looking for any last second guidance (Thanks for your helpful words, Jason!).
I
finally got a chance to meet with the student on Wednesday. I was nervous but
mentally pep-talked myself. Overall, the initial session went well. We
reminisced and talked about how she was working to combat the denial (e.g.,
involvement in funeral planning). We checked-in about her self-care plan and
how her other family members were coping. All I could think about was how
strong this young girl was sitting in front of me. As I was about to give her
some kudos, she vocalized that all of her teachers were shocked at her
attendance in school and told her how “strong” she was. I immediately shut my
mouth and nodded along.
At
the end of the session I reminded her that during our time together we will be
going at a pace that is comfortable for her. I also informed her that we can go
over stages of grief and develop some coping skills and self-care routines. As
she was leaving I presented her with a “Hot Pass
In
my preparation for these sessions I have found a few resources/books I want to
share!
·
Dower & Lister
(2001). I Will Remember You: What to Do When Someone You Love Dies - A
Guidebook Through Grief for Teens. New
York
·
Emswiler &
Emswiler (2000). Guiding Your Child Through Grief. New York
·
Wolfelt (2001). Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens: 100
Practical Ideas. Fort Collins ,
CO
·
Grollman (1999). Straight Talk about Death for Teenagers: How to
Cope with Losing Someone You Love. Boston
·
Krementz (1988). How It Feels When a Parent Dies. New
York
·
NASP (2010). Death and Grief: Supporting Youth and
Children. Retrieved from http://www.nasponline.org/resources/crisis_safety/deathgrief.pdf
·
Comerchero &
Brown (May 2012). Grief and Bereavement Research and
Interventions Interest Group Proposed. Communiqué 40(7).
Retrieved from http://www.nasponline.org/publications/cq/40/7/viewpoints-grief.aspx
Are
there any books you have that you use when working through grief? Any unique
activities that you would recommend?
Until
next thyme,
Erika
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