Lately, some of my friends have been having a tough time remembering what they Can-Do when they're upset or angry. Often times my friends use unsafe words and actions which are on the definite Can't-Do list. After seeing my supervisor work with one friend on this very issue, I decided to work with a couple of friends in my other groups.
So far I have worked with one friend and it was a great teachable moment. A different friend provoked him and my friend wanted to retaliate. I was there and able to steer him towards the break room, tears and all. After some cool-down time, and food, he was ready to chat. I spent time with him in the quiet space working through an anger thermometer followed by a list of his Can-Do's/Can't-Do's.
He did such a great job identifying situations that make him feel the varying degrees of anger, which provided some interesting insight. He did need some prompting and scaffolding to identify which strategies went on which list. For example, his go to of physical contact with someone was a definite Can't-Do and he needed that reminder. Instead, he could squeeze putty or a squeeze ball. (He liked the idea of making his own squeeze ball too.)
When his counselors went over his daily note he identified that "When [he] thought about [his] goals, [he] liked that [he] worked on calm down strategies in the quiet space."
Be still my heart! I haven't heard sweeter words all summer!
I'll hope for similar results from my next friend and hope to see this friend using some strategies we discussed. *fingers crossed!*
Until next thyme,